I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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