They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
