I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
