well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
