Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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