It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
