so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
