I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
