quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
