Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
