I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
your room smells of hookers.
And success
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
