dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so let's talk penis.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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