he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
