Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
