just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The Olympian is in my bed
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize