shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
