Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
