If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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