If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
