Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
