god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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