well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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