So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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