i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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