just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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