Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
