We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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