but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I need water and some morals
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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