North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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