There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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