Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
