Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
