tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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