p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
