Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
