I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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