She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
