dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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