I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
