lets start a swedish sibling band together
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
