just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
