smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
