So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
