You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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