S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
