ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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