i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
