you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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