Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize