you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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