you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
