U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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