Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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