My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
