I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
