I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
