I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
