i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
