now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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