what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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