There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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