She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
