i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
