sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
