he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
