Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The convent might be a nice break from real life
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
