scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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