Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
