just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
soo... how was my night?
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