Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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