yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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