He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bet he comes in French.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
