For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
